A Busy Mind Isn't What You Think
Sometimes your mind feels so busy that you just want it to stop.
You replay conversations.
Think about tomorrow.
Make lists.
Imagine what could go wrong.
Tell yourself you should be doing something.
And then wonder why you can't relax.
But what if your busy mind isn't simply a thinking problem?
What if it's connected to how you're feeling in your body?
The story follows the state
One of the things I spoke about on The Mom Boss Method podcast was how closely our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected.
For example:
You feel stressed → you reach for food.
You feel bored → you scroll your phone.
You feel overwhelmed → you avoid something.
The behaviour can feel automatic because you've repeated it so many times.
But there is usually something happening underneath it.
Whilst the mind can be critical, it’s more helpful to get curious…
So, instead of:
“Why am I doing that again?”
try:
“What am I feeling right now?”
Start with your body
When your mind is racing, pause for a moment.
If there is tension, tightness or heaviness anywhere in your body, where do you feel it?
Your chest?
Your jaw?
Your shoulders?
Your stomach?
You don't have to consider what it means.
Just notice it.
Our minds are incredibly good at creating stories.
What if something is wrong?
I shouldn't feel like this.
I need to sort this out.
Sometimes you don't need another story.
You just need to notice what's actually happening.
You don't have to be stuck in the same patterns
It can be very easy to turn a pattern into an identity.
"I'm just a worrier."
"I can't switch off."
"I'm terrible with food."
"I've always been like this."
But something your mind and nervous system has learned isn't necessarily who you are.
It’s an adaptation.
And just in the same way that was a learned pattern, your system can learn a new response.
New habits.
Different reactions.
And you don't have to do that by being harder on yourself.
In fact, it’s not even the most effective way.
Compassion is.
So next time you notice yourself slipping into an old pattern, pause.
Ask yourself:
What am I feeling?
What do I need?
And give yourself a moment before automatically doing what you've always done.
That moment can be where change starts.
Even the pause is growth in itself.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
This article comes from my conversation with Chrissie on The Mom Boss Method podcast, where we talked about busy minds, stress, self-doubt, emotional patterns and the nervous system.
Listen to the full episode here
FREE TOOLS TO SWITCH OFF
If your mind is busy & you’d like some free tools to do exactly that, get your Switch Off Series HERE
Enjoy!
Gemma
Gemma Donnelly is the confidence and resilience coach behind Coaching With Gemma. She works with people who look as though they are coping but do not feel like themselves. Her practical approach works with the mind and nervous system to help clients quiet a busy mind, feel lighter, trust themselves and get their spark back. She also provides workplace resilience training, team workshops and 1:1 leadership coaching, helping organisations support good people before pressure becomes burnout. Before coaching, Gemma spent 13 years in law and construction, including senior roles in high-pressure, male-dominated environments. She works in Manchester, Cheshire and online.
