Why You Can't Switch Off
From my conversation on The Mom Boss Method podcast.
Have you ever had one of those days where you've done everything you needed to do, finally get into bed… and your brain decides it's time to start working overtime?
You’re tired.
But you can’t switch off.
Your mind starts running through tomorrow's to-do list, the conversation you had earlier, something you forgot to reply to and approximately 17 things that might happen.
From the outside, everything might look completely fine.
But inside, you feel constantly “on”.
This is something I talked about recently with Chrissie on The Mom Boss Method podcast.
Your internal alarm system
When I first experienced burnout in my twenties, I didn't really have the language to understand what was happening.
That experience started my own journey into understanding the mind and nervous system - and eventually led me into coaching.
One of the simplest ways I explain what happens when we're constantly stressed is to imagine a smoke alarm.
You want your smoke alarm to go off if there is a fire.
But you don't want it screaming every time you burn the toast.
Our internal alarm system is similar.
We need it. It helps keep us safe.
The problem is when it stays switched on long after the threat has passed.
And modern life gives it plenty to react to.
Work.
Deadlines.
Family.
Money.
Relationships.
Expectations.
The pressure we put on ourselves.
None of these may be life-threatening, but your body doesn't always make that distinction.
You can know you're safe logically while your body still feels like it needs to stay alert.
It doesn't always look like panic
You don't have to feel panicked to notice that your system is working hard.
Sometimes it looks like:
A mind that won't slow down
Feeling guilty when you rest
Constantly thinking about what's next
Tension in your body
Poor sleep
Feeling irritable or restless
Being productive but never feeling like you’ve done enough
You can be very capable and still be exhausted.
You can be successful and still feel like you're falling behind.
You don't need to question yourself.
Simply noticing:
“I'm finding it really hard to switch off.”
Is useful information.
What is your body trying to tell you?
During our conversation, Chrissie shared that she'd spent several months putting huge amounts of pressure on herself & was feeling an anxiety she wasn’t used to.
I asked her - if that anxious feeling was trying to tell her something - what would that be.
Her answer was simple:
To step back.
Sometimes the answer isn't to push harder.
Sometimes your mind and body are asking for something different.
A pause.
A boundary.
More rest.
Less pressure.
More space.
So if you've been feeling constantly “on” lately, rather than asking “What's wrong with me?”, try asking:
“What might I need right now?”
You might be surprised by the answer.
Listen to the podcast
This article is based on my conversation with Chrissie on The Mom Boss Method podcast, where we talked about anxiety, confidence, the nervous system, self-doubt and how to create more ease and joy.
For free tools to quiet the busy mind - get your Switch Off Series HERE
Enjoy!
Gemma
Gemma Donnelly is the confidence and resilience coach behind Coaching With Gemma. She works with people who look as though they are coping but do not feel like themselves. Her practical approach works with the mind and nervous system to help clients quiet a busy mind, feel lighter, trust themselves and get their spark back. She also provides workplace resilience training, team workshops and 1:1 leadership coaching, helping organisations support good people before pressure becomes burnout. Before coaching, Gemma spent 13 years in law and construction, including senior roles in high-pressure, male-dominated environments. She works in Manchester, Cheshire and online.
